Friday.
It was a little hard to be sober.
Thursday was dreamy- I was off from work, so had time to work on music, which I did. Got a solid day's practice- had some great ideas for the viola. How to practice the Bach- spend 5-10 minutes on a problem, then move on.
I have mad ADD right now. I'm noticing the effects of caffeine. Is that new? I am drinking more coffee- recently rediscovered cream.
Yesterday, so productive. Today, wtf. Work fragments my attention- my job. I compensate with easy distractions. Is there a way/method to split... digesting non-sequitar entertainment with researching my long term goals?
I feel detached from my dream so don't feel happy about actions/events.
So on the bike ride home, I'm cussing everyone. Take a litmus test of my mood, make a choice to see good instead of bad. It helps. Start laughing at people being good assholes. Like when I bike into a cross-walk and a guy says "HE-llo". Start noticing characters, like the Conversational Bikers, those chatty buddies who bike one-handed. Salty looking turquoise helmet girl with matching rubber waders. Woman who does a u-turn at a stop sign and gets furious at pedestrian.
Get home, can't make myself do anything more. That same thing is at the root of so much!
So I press record and make noise.
Choosing to develop the habit of... seeing the good qualities? Remembering the good qualities? Something like that.
Saw a tall thin short haired quintessential goth girl, long, slight, pre-fauxhawk edgy crop, face pockmarked with acnee, she was so beautiful. Stepped out of my dream comic book.
It was a little hard to be sober.
Thursday was dreamy- I was off from work, so had time to work on music, which I did. Got a solid day's practice- had some great ideas for the viola. How to practice the Bach- spend 5-10 minutes on a problem, then move on.
I have mad ADD right now. I'm noticing the effects of caffeine. Is that new? I am drinking more coffee- recently rediscovered cream.
Yesterday, so productive. Today, wtf. Work fragments my attention- my job. I compensate with easy distractions. Is there a way/method to split... digesting non-sequitar entertainment with researching my long term goals?
I feel detached from my dream so don't feel happy about actions/events.
So on the bike ride home, I'm cussing everyone. Take a litmus test of my mood, make a choice to see good instead of bad. It helps. Start laughing at people being good assholes. Like when I bike into a cross-walk and a guy says "HE-llo". Start noticing characters, like the Conversational Bikers, those chatty buddies who bike one-handed. Salty looking turquoise helmet girl with matching rubber waders. Woman who does a u-turn at a stop sign and gets furious at pedestrian.
Get home, can't make myself do anything more. That same thing is at the root of so much!
So I press record and make noise.
Choosing to develop the habit of... seeing the good qualities? Remembering the good qualities? Something like that.
Saw a tall thin short haired quintessential goth girl, long, slight, pre-fauxhawk edgy crop, face pockmarked with acnee, she was so beautiful. Stepped out of my dream comic book.
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